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Why Happy Couple Posing Only Fools YOU

More and more people are using social media nowadays to pimp out their relationships and the world has had just about enough. You know who I’m talking about. People that constantly update their status to let everyone know how incredibly happy they are with their partner…

  • 10:10 : ‘My baby is the BEST’
  • 10:15: ‘I LOVE my boo’
  • 10:20: ‘I am Sooooo happy!’

(Is anyone actually buying this?)

Clearly, there’s nothing wrong with public displays of affection. Everyone wants to be acknowledged every now and then and a random shout out by your partner publicly is a compliment and makes you feel like the luckiest person on earth (we’ve all done it).

RANDOM is normal and sweet. I’m not talking about random here. I’m talking about the person who feels a need to point out just how unbelievably ‘HAPPY’ they are in their relationship… about every FIVE minutes (We got the message the first ten times)…

What’s interesting is, these are the same people you find out a week later that…. they’re DONE.

Your newsfeed suggests they changed their status to ’SINGLE’ and you sit there in total disbelief wondering…could this be right?

Yes, yes it is. And it’s really not that shocking. Let me explain why..

See, I call these people ‘POSERS’.

POSERS feel a need to put on a show for the world. They need to show just how wonderful their relationship is in the hopes of making others envy the life they WISH they had. They wish their partner was perfect. They wish they were full of cart-wheel worthy joy. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there’s no happiness. Back at the ranch, it’s dissatisfaction and total disappointment. Deep down they KNOW they’re miserable but for whatever reason they need to convince the world they’re fine.

It’s a facade. A mask…

(Must we bear witness?)

The truth is, (based on our own experiences, of course) people that talk the MOST about how happy they are, are in fact, the most miserable.

We worry so much about what others think and we try so hard to keep up with the Jones’ (whoever they are), that we fail to take the time to thoroughly evaluate our REAL LIFE situation and how we REALLY feel about it. We waste our time, energy and efforts convincing others that we’re happy (hence the phony statuses and phony pictures) instead of using that same time and energy to actually MAKE ourselves happy.

Living your life to impress others is NOT a way to live.

At the end of the day it’s YOUR life. YOU have to go home to this person. YOU have to love this person. YOU have to spend the rest of your life with this person… Not your 700 friends on facebook. So before you hit share, maybe you should stop and ask yourself….AM I really happy?

Don’t be a poser. Posers are only lying to themselves. Not to mention they’re annoying the rest of the world.

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The Secret to Defeating Jealous Women that C*Block

When it comes to dating, women are always out to compete. We’ve all experienced it. You’re at a bar or club and suddenly it turns into this big hungry shark fest. Women circle the joint trying to determine where the potential bachelors are and if the guy they’re interested in happens to be interested in YOU…watch out !

For lack of a better word let’s call these women… C-blockers.

C-blockers will do everything in their power to get noticed by the man that’s digging YOU. They’ll stand right next to him. Smile at him. Flirt with him. Try to dance with him. Even if he’s not the hottest thing walking, they need HIM looking at them.

The fact that you’re getting attention (not them) is a direct insult to them. What do you have that they don’t? They need to know. See, these women aren’t out to get your man necessarily, they just need to see where THEY stand.  They need to prove to themselves that they’re better than you and can have this man if they want.

C-blockers come in all varieties… Beautiful women. Not so beautiful women. The beautiful women may initially seem to pose more of a threat but the truth of the matter is, they don’t… It’s all about how you handle it.

So what’s the best way to handle these women and get rid of them for good?

  • For starters, do NOT turn your back to them. Giving them your back reads: insecure. Women sense insecurity and if you allow them, they will gladly take advantage of it. It makes them feel superior. You don’t want that! Keep in mind, your man of interest is watching how you handle this situation so you want to show him you’re confident and not easily intimidated. You don’t want to empower these women. Take the power and control in your hands. Not to mention, these women may stick around until you finally do turn around which works against you. The goal is to get rid of these women. You don’t want them standing around longer than you can stomach them!
  • Look right through them. Play the game.  Even if you are facing in their direction, do NOT acknowledge them.. Sure you saw them an hour ago, but you didn’t even realize they were still in the room! They’re not noteworthy or worth your attention.
  • Don’t seem overly interested in this man. The more you seem to want him, the more THEY want him and in turn, the more of a challenge it becomes. Don’t care so much. Besides, if this guy is going to ditch you for them, he’s not worth it anyway.
  • Remind yourself of one very important fact: women come in all shapes and sizes. Sure a woman might be more beautiful, wear nicer clothes, have whiter teeth… but that doesn’t make her BETTER. The truth is, she’s simply different. There is only one YOU. You bring a different package to the table that no one else can possibly offer. Keep playing this message in your head if you have to.

See, the bottom line is by ignoring these women you kill their plan. They failed at bringing down your self-esteem and as a result, they walk away …DEFEATED.

A beautiful c-blocker defeated. That’s what you want ;)

What do you think? Leave a comment…

Happy dating!

Why Digging Thru a Lover’s Little Black Book is a TERRIBLE Idea

I recently watched the movie ‘The Little Black Book” about a woman who decides to confront her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends to determine whether or not he’s a Cheater. Her friend insists that past behaviors are indicative of future actions so it was crucial for her to know the truth. Of course, this woman discovers a lot more than she was prepared to handle (did she expect otherwise?)

This movie was brilliant (despite the number of stars it received) because it highlighted a very real fact about how completely insane and irrational we become when we start catching feelings for someone new…. For whatever reason, we feel compelled to know this persons past. Who did they date? What do their exes look like ? Are they more attractive? Did they make a better match?

We need to know where we stand and how we measure up. So much so, we even throw ethics out the window….We dig through phones, pictures, the mystery box in the back of the closet (never go in there). Our curiosity gets the best of us we don’t even recognize ourselves!

WARNING: This is a huge mistake and one that you cannot (and often will not) recover from. So if you’re contemplating doing this… stop yourself immediately!

Two reasons digging for dirt is a terrible idea:

1) The more you dig the more you will find…that’s the bottom line. What you find may change your perception of this person. What you find may change how you perceive this persons feelings about you. The thoughts and images will forever be embedded in your brain and you won’t be able to erase them. Somehow these thoughts will manifest themselves into angry thoughts and fights when you least expect them later. Are you prepared to deal with that?

2) You may lose a BETTER person… Ultimately you’ll get turned off or even worse, ruin your relationship for GOOD. And too bad. Because contrary to this ‘friend’s’ theory, someone that has a tainted record could actually make a better partner. This person has already experienced the awful feelings and guilt associated with bad behavior and may be determined to never relive those emotions again.

The truth is, if we knew everything about everyone we dated… We’d never date !

We all mistakes. We’re human after all. We live. We breathe. We interact with the opposite sex. It’s part of growing up and becoming a better person.  Everyone has things in their past they’re not particularly proud of or wouldn’t share over a dinner conversation. But judging a person based on their past history when you only hold a piece of the puzzle is completely irrational. There are way too many factors involved in the dynamics of a relationship to determine who is ultimately responsible for it flourishing or failing.

Also, keep in mind that your chemistry and connection will never compare to any of your partner’s past relationships because the different factor in the equation is… You !

The moral of the story: Don’t dig for dirt unless you’re prepared to deal with sh*t…